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Post by conloth on Apr 18, 2012 20:16:21 GMT -5
Conloth The Wanderer
After traveling for many moons Conloth came across a strange boat. He was offered a ride for free, and having no where else to go accepted. while the waves splashed against the ships hull Conloth began to think about his past.
He had started training as a priest in a far off kingdom after reaching manhood Conloth was allowed to travel outside the monastery in order to teach others about the faiths. The church that Conloth and his Brother's belong to is fairly strange. There teachings are not original but instead this group of devote monks travel around the world leaning about other religions and spreading them to the far corners of the globe.
Smiling Conloth and pulled out a large tome , one that magically held the knowledge of all the religions they had discovered, looking at the blank page he whispered a few words of awakening and quickly the page became covered in words describing a favorite tribal myth About a alligator and how it would destroy the world.
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Post by Alcemere/Leonardo on Apr 19, 2012 0:54:24 GMT -5
There's one capitalization error at the part "while the waves splashed". And maybe you could add a last name?
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 19, 2012 9:49:44 GMT -5
Interesting. It could use a little more detail about your character. There are some capitalization errors as well as words in place of other words that don't belong, probably due to accidental typos. Also, a last name is recommended. Please use the edit button at the top right to make corrections.
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Post by Orman Grandclaw on Apr 19, 2012 10:10:56 GMT -5
Extend word-count. Treat this like an English essay that you have to get an A* for.
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