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Post by gedorran on Mar 28, 2012 16:48:50 GMT -5
Calder Travean was the son of a lowly pig farmer north of Rull, his mother died while giving birth to Calder and his brother Faerin. Calder and Faerin grew up hearing stories about great and noble men called "Rangers". It was their dream to grow up and be Rangers, though their father dismissed the idea that it would ever happen. One day while out playing in the forest a great wolf with a long scar on its face jump at the boys, knocking over Calder, and started tearing at him. Faerin grabbed a stick and hit the wolf in the head, causing it to jump off Calder. Faerin lifted Calder up in a hurry but the wolf jumped at them again sending Faerin on to the ground, leaving him exposed. Before Calder could recover from the wolf's second attack, it had torn open Faerins throat, then went running off into the woods. Calder swore that he would become a Ranger and hunt down the wolf which killed his brother. That was 23 years ago, Calder became a remarkable huntsman living in a small wooden cabin deep in the forest, searching each day for the wolf. Calder has killed dozens upon dozens of wolves, but not the one that killed his brother.
Calder is about six feet tall, with dark green eyes. He wears a thick cloak and tall leather boots most of the time. His right fingers are hard and callused from drawing back his bow. He wears a scarf over his mouth to hide the scar the wolf gave him. Calder is 35 years old.
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Post by Lunair.Blackwind on Mar 28, 2012 17:12:36 GMT -5
um... lets start with... more. just... more.
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severare
Experienced Miner
The model citizen
Posts: 343
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Post by severare on Mar 28, 2012 17:17:48 GMT -5
You're definitely going to want to go into more detail here, or it wont be accepted. Try writing more about his family, maybe about where he came from, his age, etc. You should look at some accepted RP bio's to get a good grasp on what to have.
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Post by Aura.Blackwind on Mar 28, 2012 17:18:37 GMT -5
That about sums it up Mav. Add a little more to it, then it'll have a better chance of getting approved. If you are having issues, just stop by the accepted character bios.
Edit: Damnit Ryan, one minute before me. :/
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Post by deltajesus on Mar 28, 2012 17:34:31 GMT -5
I'm surprised at the lack of grammatical errors, I was really looking forward to going rage mode at someone because of bad grammar.
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Post by gedorran on Mar 28, 2012 18:26:06 GMT -5
I added I little bit more if that helps.
EDIT- Added even more detail to it.
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Post by Lunair.Blackwind on Mar 28, 2012 18:49:43 GMT -5
um... wrong kind of more... not really sure how to explain how to improve though.
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Post by gedorran on Mar 28, 2012 21:08:26 GMT -5
Alright more detail now.
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Shawn Benoit
Experienced Miner
I AM FEAR AND FEAR FEARS NOTHING!
Posts: 312
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Post by Shawn Benoit on Mar 29, 2012 19:07:01 GMT -5
MOAR.
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Post by gedorran on Mar 30, 2012 10:13:42 GMT -5
Ok now with MOAR.
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Post by thejordan670 on Mar 31, 2012 0:13:13 GMT -5
ummm how do two siblings die at birth if the mother dies too? were they twins? were there to different mothers?
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Spwack
Veteran Explorer
70 years old, still going strong
Posts: 550
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Post by Spwack on Mar 31, 2012 0:40:24 GMT -5
Perhaps have some confrontation or something. A bio is not really just a description, it should also be a short story.
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Post by gedorran on Mar 31, 2012 19:40:03 GMT -5
I completely changed the plot, and added some action to it.
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