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Post by falkner35 on Apr 7, 2012 0:13:21 GMT -5
Deva was a normal kid in a normal town during the midieval era. He was a shy and cheerful boy, kind to everyone he meets. Loved life, arts and crafts and just talking with others. At the age of ten, his town was attacked by an evil creature called a neko; a horrible cat like demon that feeds on human flesh. Out of his family of 6, 1 survived and that was him. But what deva didnt realize that it was on purpose. Nekos have to continuously possess different people in order to stay alive, in this case it was him. So the Neko left its vessel and entered his body and partly took over him. Deva had the strong will to resist its control and only gets taken over at night, but when it happens... It gets so intense the power obliterates others in seconds. So Deva set out to find answers and remove the demon from inside him...
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Post by falkner35 on Apr 7, 2012 0:25:03 GMT -5
anyone who thinks this is sgnifigantly good please say so
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Post by Ezio on Apr 7, 2012 0:26:19 GMT -5
Neko, Heh, I like it, Short but nice.
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Post by falkner35 on Apr 7, 2012 0:30:12 GMT -5
are u one who can accept my bio rashedisezio
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 7, 2012 9:25:43 GMT -5
Only lucavex can approve bios.
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 7, 2012 12:12:04 GMT -5
Only lucavex can approve bios. Correction: Myself and Alwayz can now too. I'll be going through bios today and making comments/approvals. Falkner, I do see a few issues. Firstly, this "taken over at night" thing with the demon is a little OP. "so intense the power obliterates others in seconds"? No thanks. I see that you are trying to be creative and original, but for a while we had way too many people going on about being taken over by a demon, etc etc. Perhaps you can still be "taken over by the demon" but just have some ill side effects, like constant fatigue, trouble sleeping, crazy nightmares, I don't know... but the crazy power thing is a no no. I know that heroes is down for the moment, but we prefer people try to keep their "powers" in check with what they can really do in the game, and I am pretty sure that nobody except for admins are able to obliterate others in seconds.  Secondly, it is a little short. I personally would say to try and go for a little more description. Maybe two paragraphs? What is the name of the place you came from? How old are you now? How did you get to the land of Mirugan? Use the "modify" button at the top right of your post to modify it and let us know to take a look again.  Good luck, sir! |
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 7, 2012 12:32:49 GMT -5
He took long enough getting more people that can approve them. Also a correction, admins and zigggy have that power.
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 7, 2012 12:33:58 GMT -5
LoL! I considered adding Zigggy to the list for lolz. But decided against it. |
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Good luck, sir!