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Post by zenman1216 on Apr 10, 2012 21:00:26 GMT -5
Hi in got to keep this short . My name is Zarock.And why I got to keep this short is because I am running from the Rull guardsmen.Because I was selling illegal Spell books I am a person that likes to get in and out as fast as i can without being noticed.I am a person that studies the dark arts and needs a person to help me,how do I put this?Kill silently and not leave a trace.I am a guy that when given the resources I can do anything.I can trace anything,anyone. I love when I hear the undead killing people.Like zombie moaning and Skeleton rattling.I think the robbers the thieves and the lowlifes should win against the guards.
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severare
Experienced Miner
The model citizen
Posts: 343
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Post by severare on Apr 10, 2012 21:07:37 GMT -5
Zeng, you need to make sure you use proper spelling and grammar in this. You may want to break it into paragraphs, and definitely tell more about your character's past, why he's in Rull, and whose side of the war he's on.
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Post by zenman1216 on Apr 10, 2012 21:08:36 GMT -5
Sorry for the word guy a lot
I am home schooled and don't get a lot of words for guy
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Post by zenman1216 on Apr 10, 2012 21:09:13 GMT -5
sorry i am only 10
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Post by zenman1216 on Apr 10, 2012 21:10:01 GMT -5
And i don't write a lot i do a lot of reading
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 10, 2012 21:15:00 GMT -5
You only used the word guy once, and you should have a space after every full stop. Also remember to capitalize any I's.
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 10, 2012 21:26:30 GMT -5
Right then, on to things about the story itself. You need more information about your character, like where they came from and that sort of thing. Being able to trace anyone seems a little like godmodding but it's not a major issue. We also need more of a story about your character such as why is he running from the gaurds and what city is it? Try to fit it into the server lore and use the modify button to make any changes.
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 10, 2012 21:57:57 GMT -5
As for most of the time, I agree with Delta. I also would say to come up with a good last name too. And about the tracking thing... technically, if he decides to be a ranger he CAN track anyone. So it's not godmodding if he goes Ranger and uses that skill.  He is 10 though... So I can excuse some minor errors... Try to give a little more info on why you are running. What did you do to be made a bad person to the guards? |
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 10, 2012 22:31:23 GMT -5
I assumed he was fairly new and isn't a high enough level for the skill (is ranger a tier two?).
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 10, 2012 22:34:16 GMT -5
Well of course he doesn't have it yet.. but he CAN get it eventually!  |
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 10, 2012 22:43:19 GMT -5
Technically I could become a god eventually, but the point is that we're meant to start off at the bottom and let our characters grow into whatever it is we want to be.
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He is 10 though... So I can excuse some minor errors... Try to give a little more info on why you are running. What did you do to be made a bad person to the guards?