Darkshadow attempt 3!

[genfy]

I was not accepted due to the fact that it was soo short last time so here is more of a- dramatic version........

I am Darkshadow this is my story

Story: I grew up in a bakery with my father- my mother died when i was young but life goes on. We were not poor we could afford most things but life was dull i seek ed for excitement. as i grew older my needs grew stronger and the knights guard had bought me home several times and my father Sept an eye on me after then i decided to do something BIG so i planned to rob the mayors house. The mayor of our small town was very rich and but very secure. Unfortunately my farther followed me i was not caught but he was.... he was imprisoned for a year when he Finlay came home he was not happy he gave me a choice- give up thieving or leave forever i decided to leave i came ac cross a group of assassins they gave me my training i did missions and never saw my father again Finlay i became the highest rank but my father was watching me from the start he called the guards- we were discoverd and most of the assassins where killed i was the only survivor i had to leave the country i came accross the small city of Mirkwood which brings his story to now....................

Class etc: Ranger, stealth, evil, bandit, murderer.

Freinds: 1 ShadowKnife (Rhagfyr29)

Weapons: bow and iron sword







thanks

[Rei.Blackwind]

*facepalm* Please please please, do not just post another bio in another thread. Use the modify button at the top right. This causes extra threads that clutter up the bio submissions folder and make it more work to get to everyone's bio.

There are lots and lots of spelling mistakes. Please run this through a spell checker. I lost count of the number of mistakes on that note.

You also need to capitalize the first letter of every sentence.

The lead in from where you left and were trained by assassins to your father doing something.. to suddenly being the last survivor... all of that is just a blur and gives no idea of what the heck happened there. It barely makes sense really. Add a little more in that part so we know what you are talking about. Then we should be good. Please use the modify button at the top right of your post to fix it this time and then post a reply that you made some changes.

[genfy]

ok sorry

[genfy]

done spellchecking

[genfy]

done some more details!

[genfy]

kk we good now?

[Aura.Blackwind]

1. Way too many posts here. 2. STOP making other threads. It wastes the staff's time.

[Rei.Blackwind]

Still has a LOT of misspellings and puctuation errors. I'm tempted to run through and fix them myself if you can't figure them out......... Also I do not know if "Darkshadow" is supposed to be your first or last name, but it will not work a.s a first. Could be your last, so please come up with a first name.

[Shezz Raulo]

Also genfy, quit bumping your thread.

[Mackenzie.Heinzer]

Zomg once again, What parent in the right mind calls there kid Darkshadow? like seriously?

[Rei.Blackwind]

I will fix the issues for you that you keep missing, but we still need a REAL name. Darkshadow can be your last if you like, but it is not a first name.

[deltajesus]

He hasn't been on the forums since the fourteenth, no idea if he's been on aoc since then though.