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Post by zanetank on Apr 14, 2012 23:30:35 GMT -5
In The Olden days there were 12 Senapai Mages
and the lands depended on their protection. it was a age of peace and prosperety. but there were those who plotted against them claiming they had 2 much power. and in truth they did.
but like in everything all good things end and when the best things end they end in a great and vast sea of destuction.
but when the last was slain containing all the powers of all their magic they did not disperce. they went to another the last Senpai Mage Zane Tank
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Post by Aura.Blackwind on Apr 15, 2012 2:15:20 GMT -5
I'll let delta, alwayz, and Aku handle the errors, but this needs to be a bit longer. Look at the accepted character bios to see what I'm talking about.
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Apr 15, 2012 15:58:12 GMT -5
There are plenty of capitalization errors.. It is a little short and does not explain very much about your character himself. Plus it almost sounds as if you are trying to be an epic supermage. A bit godmoddish. I suggest redoing that a bit to tone back because nobody starts off super awesome. Pretty sure most people can trample you until you level up and establish a name for yourself. It is always best to let your characters grow through roleplay.
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Post by deltajesus on Apr 16, 2012 15:13:53 GMT -5
Tank the mage? I hope that's meant to be ironic... Anyways, try and remove text speak like 2 instead of to/too etc.
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