Rutilus.Vesica Bio. **WIP**

[theladyofdarkness]

"My old nickname 'Red Blade (Blooded Sword)' comes from The Battle Of Rivers Edge in which I fought in. Me and my troops marched out to what we thought was the end. It probably would have been had i not been a woman.No... they did something far worse.They kept me as a POW but i was really just their trophy.Eventually I worked up their trust enough to be allowed out of my cell at certain times.I stole a key and broke out the same night.I couldn't return home after what had happened.I changed my name and became a freelance, and have been doing so for about....14..15 years now.Not much too it really.With the vampire legends going around not many people are out any more, it also effects my business greatly.I've been doing this for years not once have i seen a vampire!Its amazing what people believe now a days.Oh well not my fault people are dumber than a sack of bricks.I'm going and finding the next boat to shore as soon as possible,to escape this madness and hopefully find people with a little more sanity "


Name:Rutilus.Vesica
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Relationship status:Single
Job:Freelance(Sell Sword etc.)
Race: Humanoid Feline
Hair:long,Brown
Eyes:Cat,Blue

[minea]

I have no idea what you just said. I heard a battle with an extremely exaggerated amount of troops, then..... your trusted... escape etc etc. Maybe m,ake it more clearer, more realistic and then ask people like Akurei, Night and alwayz what needs to be added then removed.

[Aura.Blackwind]

Uhh... Fix the grammar and spacing errors first off. Now then, I think I can see what you are trying to do here, but it's a bit un clear. Add some descriptive scenes on that battle. What happened? Who were you fighting? How did you lose? Ect. If you anwser those questions in a story format, this would look a lot better. Maybe try describing your escape a bit as well. Fix all of the things I've said here and we should be good to go on accepting this.