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Post by sourpatchkirby on Sept 9, 2012 19:14:58 GMT -5
Yusei Ogonoa was was a small poor kid oprehended by his parents because he was part enderman everyone disliked him untill a boy named Dante Ogoshima came by saw that he was poor and then gave him 1,000 gold Yusei was shocked after that Yusei went to buy food clothse and other stuff every once in a wile Dante whould come by and play soon kids started to thinkbetter of him 10 years later Yusei was 19 years old working with other endrites in factorys and offices then remembered his pearents left him soon after he saw Dante's Wife Yume drinking from a neck of a deer she soon passed out Yusei ran and the next day went to Dante's home and said that he saw her and he was leaving to find his parents becase he found a note saying they were heading to a new land marked on a map.
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Post by Ezio on Sept 10, 2012 4:45:58 GMT -5
Nope. Too much Conflicts, Too much mistakes.
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Post by Prekrasna.Smiert (chaza507) on Sept 10, 2012 4:59:25 GMT -5
be realistic, can and will someone come along randomly IC and give you 1000? i recommend you go into more detail as to why he was part enderman and maybe dante could take yusei into his home or something like that. there is something here you just need to work on it for a bit
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Post by Rowan.Pelanger on Sept 10, 2012 5:38:26 GMT -5
Ok, this is all idiotic. The past few characters have all had Dante Ogishima. First you need someones permission to use their character in your bio and half Enderman would technically be Endrite but you need to have permission from Shezz or something for that. I don't think you can be half-Endermen without being blessed to be one.
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Post by Prekrasna.Smiert (chaza507) on Sept 10, 2012 8:08:30 GMT -5
Ok, this is all idiotic. The past few characters have all had Dante Ogishima. First you need someones permission to use their character in your bio and half Enderman would technically be Endrite but you need to have permission from Shezz or something for that. I don't think you can be half-Endermen without being blessed to be one. 1. don't be negative! 2. i thought dante was a made up character o.O 3. with the new map i believe that your race is set by your bio and that is the only way to become a certain race, you may still need permission but this is what i have gathered so far |
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Post by bobruk098 on Sept 10, 2012 10:46:58 GMT -5
Doesn't matter, Endrites are blessed Humans by Terminus. Since he isn't well known in the RP world or EG, he most likely won't start off being blessed by a god.
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Sept 10, 2012 12:13:56 GMT -5
Yeah. There's only one true endrite and that is Shezza. All the rest are blessed by terminus and become a small % closer, or something weird like that. People can't start out as endrite. Shezza can bless too in terminus' name.
Plus this is awkwardly written. Plot points loosely linked. Nobody has 1k to give on the server right now. Clean it up a bit and make things flow better.
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Post by Orman Grandclaw on Sept 10, 2012 15:19:11 GMT -5
Actually Aku, I think I interpreted Shezz's blessing as more a "spiritual recognition" thing. From what Shezz wrote, I think there really is an actual society of Human, Enderman hybrids.
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Post by kingmii on Sept 10, 2012 16:51:54 GMT -5
It seems as though Dante Ogoshima has brought some freinds with him. He is real I remember reading his bio.
anyway Give us more detail on your chracters origin, try reading other bios here and try and tell us an indepth story about your chracter. What did it feel like to be an outcast? how did you cope? were you angry? depressed maybe? describe meeting Dante, what did it feel like to finally have a freind? write some dialouge for your meeting. give a descripton of some of the stuff you did nogether later,why did you wait so long to serch for your parents? what was it like to be abandoned? What is your chracter like? does he have emotional issues as a result of his childhood? what is he good at? what does he want to do apart from finding his parents
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Post by Rei.Blackwind on Sept 11, 2012 12:38:33 GMT -5
Actually Aku, I think I interpreted Shezz's blessing as more a "spiritual recognition" thing. From what Shezz wrote, I think there really is an actual society of Human, Enderman hybrids. Yes it is a spiritual thing, but at high levels or rather % it can give some very minor physical changes, such as eye color. At current it's the only way to become a % endrite through the spiritual blessing. As I already stated. Shezza is the only true endrite. |
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