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Post by minerboy234 on Sept 29, 2012 9:53:35 GMT -5
the mill masters ghost
lore by minerboy234
killed in a fatal milling accident , the old mill master still roams the mill in rull . he is heard in the mill toiling in his office and messing with equipment . this ghost is known to send a rain of saw-blades down on intruders in his mill . he had died when his foot got caught in a gear , which pulled him in and crushed him . he has roamed the mill for years and waited for his soul to be freed and still waits today .
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Post by minerboy234 on Sept 29, 2012 9:54:19 GMT -5
i know its short , but its a short story i came up with . bare with me .
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Post by SupaDupaZombeeh on Sept 29, 2012 11:17:18 GMT -5
This is not a story. This is a discription of a character in a story.
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bluejay51
Novice
I'll be watching...
Posts: 38
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Post by bluejay51 on Sept 30, 2012 18:45:58 GMT -5
If you want to make it a story you've got to add a lot more details not just things describing an old man.
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Post by fireblitz223 on Oct 11, 2012 6:52:05 GMT -5
This is no where near a story. It's just telling us what happened to this man at a mill. This should not be in character bio submissions, this is only for people that are trying to get a bio. Start doing stories in offtopic.
Oh and basic errors such as capital letters commas and a few spelling.
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