Brodalio.Viking

[magnus2142]

My name is Brodalio Viking. I am a dwarf living in a ordinary city.

I was known as the best fighter in town. I was respected and nice.
One day, i had a dream. It was about the city was going to be attacked.
He did go to hes good friend. The friend was a vise man. That is the reasen Brodalio did go to him. The vise man said after what he had heard: Oh, NO!

This can only mean that we need to prepare to war against the skeletons!
We need to prepare to battle. Said Brodalio. The war was going to be in 2 weeks.
In that 2 weeks they trained and trained. Brodalio and hes army was ready for war. After 2 weeks, the war started! Brodalio was goin into a group og skeletons and started to spin hes axe around to the skeletons was dead.
The war was going good for the dwarfs until..... the giant skeleton boss comed!

The dwarfs was speechless. Brodalio to, but Brodalio got a plan. He runned to the skeleton boss with hes axe raised, cut the legs of and make the skeleton boss fall. After that all the dwarfs started to attack it and Brodalio Viking and hes army knew they had won the war.

Brodalio Viking was now the king of the city for the job he did.
The End.


My ingame-name is going to be: Brodalio.Viking

Magnus2142

[samonman]

Ok... if you fix the grammar and extend it a bit and add a reason for coming to Mirugan then you might stand a chance of getting this excepted

[Serpine Flux]

I think this might sound a bit god moddy. You need to extend this and fix the grammer as samonman said. If he was the king of his town than why did he leave? I would of stayed and enjoyed being king. Good luck in your bio

[Brindale]

Repost under Character Bio Submissions

[Zauberius.Goldfinger]

Grammer issues need to be fixed reason for coming to Miriguan and also"Big Boss Skeleton"what is that..is it some sort of villian maybe a fallen king or something else,also I dont think the"Big boss Skeleton"has much of a motive for attacking you.Keep trying though.

[piwii999]

My main problem with this is that it says "Viking" I'm not a dwarf biologist but I'm pretty sure that dwarves hate the sea. Just change the name.

[fireblitz223]

Oct 27, 2012 22:41:07 GMT -5 Zauberius.Goldfinger said:

Grammer issues need to be fixed reason for coming to Miriguan and also"Big Boss Skeleton"what is that..is it some sort of villian maybe a fallen king or something else,also I dont think the"Big boss Skeleton"has much of a motive for attacking you.Keep trying though.

"Grammer" It's Grammar* and "Miriguan" It's Mirguan*, you need to fix your spelling Zauber. On topic Yes keep improving on your basic grammatical erros and repost this under Role Play and then Character bio submissions.

[Marcel.Camthalion (TheGran)]

A few minor spelling mistakes that need to be eradicated such as reasen and I'm pretty sure Brodalio doesn't go to the Vise man for a raisin. 'Tis an ok biography.