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Post by womarshall on Nov 9, 2012 21:13:15 GMT -5
I am a 15 year old Vampire, former clan member of the clan Sur'lash. I am no longer a part of this tribe. I ran away after one night when we ambushed a small party traveling to their village. The party had many women and children, but that did not stop my clansmates from slaughtering the entire party. After that scarring night, I ran away, forsaking all inheiritence for what i thought was right. I now wander the land, looking to start a new life among new friends, learning new skills along the way. I just hope the chance will be soon.........
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Post by creamofbread17 on Nov 9, 2012 22:54:29 GMT -5
Where's the beef?
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Post by joshivar on Nov 9, 2012 23:55:12 GMT -5
There isn't a whole lot of information here womarshall. I'll list a few things you need to know.
1: Read the lore. Vampires are not born, they are made. You must be blooded by a vampire to become one, if you are fifteen, that's fine, but you'll stay fifteen forever. Factor that in. Very rarely a vampire will be made without being blooded by an existing one, due to certain circumstances making it hard for them to due so.
2: This is the same bandit raid story we've heard a thousand times, except instead of an orphan seeking revenge, you're one of the bandits. Please, Please describe some adventures and encounters you've had on your travels. It gives us something to read and appears more professional.
3: Small party traveling to their village. Immediately after saying 'small party' You say it had many women and children. How small can it be with 'many' people of any kind? Keep your details consistent and precise, that way you don't contradict yourself and get ridiculed.
I'd like to say thank you for not Godmodding in some superpowered ability to destroy everything ever of all time. Means a lot. Fine tune this, get some more details out there about your character, even if they are very subtle such as trying to help someone without any gain, thus making you appear as a good sort.
Good luck womarshall.
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Post by ZipZapMan on Nov 10, 2012 10:43:50 GMT -5
Is this clan a clan of vampires? There are no clans of vampires around Mirugan, but the vampires that live in Verum Sanguinium. Almost all other vampires are rogue vampires living in towns of other races, most likely the only vampire in that town. Copy right, ZipZapMan & Co. |
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Post by creamofbread17 on Nov 11, 2012 9:46:08 GMT -5
Sorry Zip.
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