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Post by hylianherolink on Nov 24, 2012 16:11:46 GMT -5
Age: 17 Race: Human Path: Mage Name: Falorie Flami Gender: Male
Story: Falorie grew up in a little forest town named Lition. His family were soldiers for the king's army. Most of the time since he was alone he had to fend for himself. But everyday he would practice his magic in hope of becoming a Wizard, or Elementalist. But one night his mother came home with grief. "You father has fallen in combat." She sobbed. At that moment I rushed out of the house. I charged through the woods tears streaming down my face. What did this happen to me? Was I to blame? The questions flew through my mind but I only thought about getting away from that place. When I finally got far enough I realized I was at a spirit spring. I dived into the freezing water hoping the cold would numb my sadness. But then a sharp piece hit my foot. "Ouch!" I yelped. When I picked it up I felt a strong aura of magic coursing through me. I looked it over and I noticed it was a staff. Looking more closely I saw an inscription on it. Dragon Rod it said. I thrust the rod in the sky and a bolt of lightning came down. This was what I needed to find the person that killed my dad but could I really do it?
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Post by Lucius.Sirfalas on Nov 24, 2012 16:14:43 GMT -5
This is much better! But for next time just edit your old one so we don't clutter up the forums and make them worse than they already are. But the same as last time, what did you do next? How were your feelings when your father died? I also don't think you want to RP as 11. You'd be hard-pressed for anyone to take you seriously.
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Post by bobruk on Nov 24, 2012 18:08:42 GMT -5
If you can, explain more on why he wants to become a mage (RP wizard or elementalist). If he wants to be powerful, to help, etc. Also, "majik" is spelled "magic". So if you add some more details you will be good to go.
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Post by jjy86 on Nov 24, 2012 18:10:14 GMT -5
Topic should be "Falorie.Flami". Not saying its impossible, but I can hardly believe, a 11 year old is disciplined enough to become a mage already. Maybe I'm too strict about that?
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Post by hylianherolink on Nov 24, 2012 18:24:39 GMT -5
fine ill change majik to magic
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Post by bobruk on Nov 24, 2012 18:28:51 GMT -5
add a bit more info. Not too much, but enough to explain why you want to be a mage. Also, change your age. 11 year olds are taken seriously on the server, OOC and IRP. Make it 16+ then it will be better.
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